Internal memo // for immediate distribution
Corporate
Cat
The last true believer in the corporate dream. Unkillable, permanently one platform behind, and completely sincere about it.
Corporate Cat Inc.
EMP 000001
Corporate Cat
Regional Whatever
SINCE
2001
Still logging in
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Example
Corporate Cat Inc.
Issue your own badge.
Paste an X handle or profile link. HR does the rest.HR needs a handle to open the file. Hand over an X handle or a profile link and Corporate Cat will process a badge portrait in your style, wardrobe adjusted for the platform of record.
Memo 01 // The Lifer
The last true believer in the corporate dream, a middle-management cat who has personally onboarded onto every doomed platform of the last 25 years and refuses to admit a single one of them died.
He's not a founder. Not a disruptor. Not 'building in public.' He's a lifer.
He made Regional Whatever by showing up, and he still logs into MSN Messenger every morning out of loyalty.
He set up the Friends Reunited group for his old firm. He was in the room on Clubhouse. He runs the Zoom that could've been an email.
Every dead platform, he treats like it's still the future.
That's the whole engine: unkillable, permanently one platform behind, and completely sincere about it.
Memo 02 // Platform onboarding history
Every dead platform, he treats like it's still the future.
Memo 03 // Minutes from the last all-hands
01 / on recordAre we all on the same page?
02 / on recordWe should sanity-check the numbers
03 / on recordLet's gut-check this
04 / on recordLet's revisit this later
05 / on recordWe may need to rethink this
06 / on recordI'm not sure the data supports that
07 / on recordCorporate Cat - lets double click on that
08 / on recordWe're all on a journey.
Memo 04 // Internal comms archive
Let's socialize this internally



Memo 05 // The asset
What's the timeline?
Signed off by the board. The ticker is:
Solana