Skip to the memo

Internal memo // for immediate distribution

Corporate
Cat

The last true believer in the corporate dream.

Ticker, pending board approval:$CC

Corporate Cat Inc.

EMP 000001
Corporate Cat, a grey cat in a dark suit and purple tie, holding a briefcase

Corporate Cat

Regional Whatever

SINCE
2001

Still logging in

New hire intake // paste an X handle, get your badge

Example badge: a finished Corporate Cat portrait, this is what your own result will look like

Example

Corporate Cat Inc.

Issue your own badge.

Paste an X handle or profile link. HR does the rest.

 

Memo 01 // The Lifer

The last true believer in the corporate dream, a middle-management cat who has personally onboarded onto every doomed platform of the last 25 years and refuses to admit a single one of them died.

That's the whole engine: unkillable, permanently one platform behind, and completely sincere about it.

Memo 02 // Platform onboarding history

Every dead platform, he treats like it's still the future.

01MSN Messengerstill logs in every morning out of loyaltyStill the future
02Friends Reunitedset up the group for his old firmStill the future
03Clubhousewas in the roomStill the future
04Zoomruns the Zoom that could've been an emailStill the future

Memo 03 // Minutes from the last all-hands

01 / on record

Are we all on the same page?

02 / on record

We should sanity-check the numbers

03 / on record

Let's gut-check this

04 / on record

Let's revisit this later

05 / on record

We may need to rethink this

06 / on record

I'm not sure the data supports that

07 / on record

Corporate Cat - lets double click on that

08 / on record

We're all on a journey.

Memo 04 // Internal comms archive

Let's socialize this internally

Corporate Cat sitting at the front desk under a Corporate Cat banner
attachment_01 // hq_front_desk.jpg
Cartoon of Corporate Cat drawing a circle in sand, captioned lets circle back
attachment_02 // lets_circle_back.jpg
Cartoon of Corporate Cat in sunglasses with feet on desk, captioned I dont have the bandwidth, holding a mug that reads not a bot
attachment_03 // no_bandwidth.jpg

Memo 05 // The asset

What's the timeline?

Signed off by the board. The ticker is:

Contract addressLet's put a pin in that

Solana